Sex & Skinny: Taming the Craving

Nate Larkin and Constance Rhodes share grace-filled, story-based multi-media presentations designed to get you thinking in a new way about what underlies the common struggles of pornography addiction, eating disorders, negative body image, and relational disconnection.

Coming from their own personal journeys toward freedom in Christ, refined by nearly twenty years of combined experience in ministry, Nate and Constance bring a unique blend of modeling and leadership to this badly-needed conversation.

"Ever since writing my first book Life Inside the 'Thin' Cage, in which I explored the link between eating issues and the struggle with pornography/sexual issues, I've longed to see these two struggles talked about together," says Rhodes.

Indeed, while it is not unusual to hear a speaker share compellingly about pornography, eating disorders, or relational issues, it is unprecedented for two veterans of these battles to join forces. In the Sex and Skinny Tour, Nate and Constance are challenging traditional stereotypes about compulsive behavior. Their goal is to help men and women gain a deeper understanding of each other, and embrace authentic relationship as the antidote to our most secret struggles.

As leaders of their own respective ministries, The Samson Society and FINDINGbalance, Larkin and Rhodes also look forward to leaving behind small group tools to help churches and communities facilitate continued relational growth for those they serve - a critical part of living full and free lives.

“Christians are well-meaning,” says Larkin, “But unless we work hard to prevent it, the church can become the most difficult place on earth to be honest. We can actually force each other into falsehood. That’s tragic, because false selves are doomed to empty lives of duty, outer conformity and inner numbness. Only our authentic selves, fragile but forgiven, can truly experience a spiritual life marked by love, joy, peace and self-control. And Christ intends us to enjoy that life together.”

Practically speaking, here's what happens...

General Session 1: "The Cycle"
Using the metaphor of a unicycle (which we just happen to have on hand), Nate and Constance share pieces of their respective struggles in an effort to illustrate how similar they are. Common themes of loneliness, isolation, and shame are introduced. The primary goals of this session are to help men and women a) reflect on their own unhealthy cycles, whatever they may be, b) gain insight and empathy for each other, and c) understand that Christ died not for our guilt, but to rescue us from our shame. This session relies on having a mixed audience of men and women together.

General Session 2: “Closed System Escape”
Using the metaphor of a tandem bike, this session explores what happens when we “hitch” ourselves to someone else in an effort to break out of our addictive patterns. A common view is that marriage will fix our problem, but the reality is that one cycle will propel the other, perpetuating a never-ending pattern that often leads to breakdown of the relationship. Nate and Constance go deeper into their own stories and the breaking points when each learned the only way to freedom was to get off the bike and engage in community. We learn that Christ has called us to a personal, not private, relationship with him. Christianity is a team sport, and realizing true freedom and healthier relationships means pursuing community with others who are seeking God’s best for their lives.

Breakout
While the general sessions are designed for a mixed audience, time is given for men and women to break out to separate rooms to hear from Nate (men) and Constance (women). In this session each shares more of his or her own story, and time is built in for Q&A for questions which might be too sensitive to ask in a mixed audience setting.

Session 3: “Safe Community” (optional)
If time allows, this third session is a key foundational element to help your group learn both what to look for – and who to “be” – when it comes to healthy, healing community. Five key elements are addressed, and time is given for a small group exercise and role play to help illustrate the strategies learned in the session.

Additional Features
We believe that music and other arts are important tools for experiencing truth. Worship, original music, and drama are woven in according to your facility/budget/desires.

Group exercises are another important component – we want people to be connecting with each other throughout the day and try to provide a few ways to do so.

Finally, light humor is an important ingredient. As Nate likes to say, these issues are serious, but not grave. Participants will laugh and be moved in various ways throughout the day through Nate and Constance’s interactive and self-effacing presentation style.

Questions?
If you’re interested in learning more about the tour, read the booking page, or email sexandskinny@gmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you soon!